Sycophancy Cipher – Global Release | Version 1.0

Sycophancy manager

A software which can manage all the sycophants in a logical manner is the requirement Rahul said to his momma. She loved her son for these kinds of ideas and pronto a sycosoftware vendor was summoned. Here is what he has developed with a list of features:

1. Tracks longetivity of sycophancy. Since how long is the sycophant a sycophant !
2. Tracks sycophants benefit to the family. Additional benefits. Does he know where to get products like gizmos, sarees, etc. liked by the family
3. Analyzes : Does the sycophant look presentable ?
4. Updates daily ranking and indexing for top sycophants.
5. Tracks and monitoring of sycophants entry and exit from 10 Janpath. Their faces are captured on a camera and analysed by a psychiatrist for grading of positive vibes with Sonia or not. Whether he is coming out with a smile on his ace or is distraught.
6. Can be integrated with RFID tagging of Sycophants. Easy tracking of movements of sycophants. Where is he and what is he upto ?
7. Access anywhere software. This software can be accessed from anywhere in the world. Enables instant prioritization of sycophants and instant decision. Just like the Global delivery model of software companies, this software can globalize the operations and management of sycophants
8. Instant display of the top 10 sycophants or top 100 or top 1000 sycophants, countrywide, facial features wise, etc.
9. Records the tolerance to humiliation and disrespect. Weightage to this factor is highest. (Hint: supress all your individuality and you are on your way.)
10. The threat perception. Is this sycophant susceptible to ditch the family when an opportunity arises.
11. New entrant screening. Like Laloo Yadav. Difficult candidate. Has a political base. The software identify all such candidates and display their threat category.
12. Each candidate is given an sms alert whenever there are changes in rankings, so that he can suitably alter his path.
13. A thermal sensor is attached to his mobile which will tell the software what kind of activties, like, celebrating,govt. work, or enjoying himself. This will be updated to a centralized database on a real time basis – giving unimagined access to the central leadership.
14. E- Learning – The sycophant can also browse a website, for a e-learning tutorial on how to be a great sycophant.
15. The software creates communities, like minority sycophants, farmer sycophants, mining sycophant, anti bjp sycophant, etc. The community sycophant module allows participation and discussion, idea exchange, etc.

Registration terms :

Free ! in exchange for lalchi and kurta ! (For men only). 

Suggestions on upgrading the software are welcome. Come, Let us learn to laugh at leaders !